4. Sins of the Father

Posted: March 9, 2009 in African American, daughters, faith, family, fathers, Relationships
Tags: , , , , ,

I didn’t coin the phrase, but through modern-day news and other media outlets, I have been privy to its apparent frequency.

This became apparent to me recently as my wife, daughter and I watched the movie entitled, “The Secret Life of Bees.” This movie is primarily based upon the struggling existence of a young girl who is desperate to learn of her deceased mother. The conflict and primary roadblock to her quest was (to my surprise and dismay) her biological father.

Although this was a fictitious movie, its contents were quite familiar. Many of the fathers today have created environments where dysfunction, abuse, humiliation and even incest are the order of the day.

While I sometimes feel powerless when it comes to affecting change in other households, I’m hopeful that these few words offer encouragement to those on the brink of violating the unspoken pact between the parent and the child.

I believe it is the job of the father to set the tone of the household and speak destiny to all that dwell therein. He does this by being an example, demonstrating the walk, making provision and overcoming adverse circumstances in his own life. He also must continue to pour into his children the love, knowledge, discipline and wisdom that God has afforded him.

When he creates an environment where the household is not free to express love toward each-other, he has simply fostered a residence; not a home.

This is not to say that everyone will get along, because we all know that is not true. This is to say that the framework must be in place to facilitate open communication, love, trust, and most of all, a sense of “someone’s got my back.”

These things have become apparent to me over the years. I do not consider myself a master of these traits but I do recognize the high calling of fatherhood and aspire to the example Christ has set.

I was drawn to the name FathersFootprints as my brand because it is a symbolic representation of how God has affected our lives, and how we are to affect the lives of our children.

I am reminded of a statement made by my best friend Tony with regards to his young son TJ, who by the way is a very unique character to say the least. When asked, how do you keep up with this rambunctious rascal?  Tony stated, “I put him in a position to make plays.” In other words, he keeps his son in an environment where his personality, behavior, curiosity, even his mischief work to his advantage. I’m convinced as a father, we should put our children in a position to “make plays.”

Be Blessed,
DD-
tony-fleming-and-tj-pic

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Comments
  1. M&M's Mommy says:

    You have a gift, DD. You have the talent to applaud black men while at the same time, challenging them to step up their game and take their “rightful place” as you eloquently put it. I like the statement your friend, Tony, made about putting TJ in a position to make plays. One thing’s for sure, the one attribute that you love about a person in one setting is the same attribute that drives you crazy in another.

    My son is a natural charmer…he can get whatever he wants from whomever he wants. He smiles and laughs while he does almost everything. He wakes up on a natural high. I love to watch it. This same little boy with the same big, beautiful grin talks my head off from the moment I pick him up from school to the moment I tuck him in at night. My husband and I have must continue to put our son in situations where his energy works to advantage. You’re a great teacher, D. Thanks for sharing your gift with us. God is well pleased!

    Blessings and increase…

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