19. “Don’t pull my mommy’s hair”

Posted: May 9, 2009 in African American, family
Tags: , , , , ,


My dear mother birthed me when she was 23 years old and three years into her marriage to my father.  Even though she carried me in her womb in the midst of the ’67 riots in Detroit,  I didn’t possess a  fighter’s temperment as a tot.

During her youth many considered her a nice, intelligent, young lady – having participated in the Jr. High and High School bands, debate teams; all while making a ritual of being on the honor roll.  The second oldest of five children born in the late 40’s and early 50’s, she would go on to experience hellish times as Blacks struggled for equal rights in a segregated country.

This is available in hard copy at http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/ds-2-cents/7806521

  1. Tony Fleming says:

    Our generation can learn a lesson from Mrs. Duncan- one of the original “community moms” meaning she cared about my welfare as much as her actual son’s… It is very hard to fail with someone like her looking out for you… ?Happy Mother’s Day, Mr. Duncan!

  2. sanya says:

    Thank you for that. Mother’s day have become tough for me even with the love I am showered with by my sons. But today is a different day. As I read your great words I am reminded about the gifts our mothers were blessed with though their struggles as beautiful strong black woman. Today I will not cry for my mother not being here but smile because I am continuing to grow in her footsteps. You have a gift I am here to support you.

  3. Kelly says:

    Your blog touched home for me. On both sides of my family. I grew dealing with my grandma who didn’t like my mom cause she looked white. My grandmother was from GA and my dad was dark. My moms people were all light and could pass for white. My moms sisters married all light bright men. Except Waymons Mom & Mecca’s mom. Out 12 siblings. So we have cousins who thought they were better than us…etc I could go on. Wow.

  4. Candice Marie...xo says:

    This particular blog is incredibly heartfelt and brought many issues to the forefront of my mind, regarding all of the splendid shades of color and hair textures of Black men and women. I was often teased and tortured for being so light. It made me feel a deep sense of guilt and shame. I hated my complexion and my hair. I grew up with my peers expressing that I was not Black enough. It hurt me deeply. As I matured and began to understand the world around me, I learned to accept myself…just as God created me. The definition of being a Black woman isn’t measured by my exterior. It lies within the soul of who I am and the exquisite, phenomenal Black woman my mother raised me to be. My mother experienced far more racism than I ever will. She endured horrible times because of her pale complexion and has persevered in spite of it all. My mom taught me what it means to be a Black woman, and it’s certainly more than one’s physicality. Thank you for sharing this compelling story. It means so much to me and many others, I’m sure.
    Candice Marie…xo

    • Kelly says:

      I really enjoyed your comment on this blog. I hated being one of the darkest children in my family for along time. It was hard to be too dark on one side of your family and then being too light for the other and whats crazy is that I’m a golden brown. I could never figure it out. But thanks for sharing I am glad I’m not the only who grew up not liking their complexion

      • Candice Marie...xo says:

        No, Kelly, you certainly didn’t grow up alone feeling that disdain. Thank you too for sharing! I’m learning everyday to love myself and be thankful for the way God chose to create me. I know now that to hate my appearance is to hate a creation of the Most High. It’s a daily struggle at times, but I try living in a suspended state of gratitude. Thank you, Kelly, for reminding me to be grateful.
        Candice Marie…xo

  5. Belinda says:

    Damon, thanks for sharing that! The sharing and allowing others to know what happens in life makes a difference in so many ways. Be blessed!!

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