46. Black Men or White Men? Let’s ask Cicely J.

Posted: September 10, 2009 in African American, Black entertainment, daughters, Race, Relationships
Tags: , , ,

sister and white manOur faithful readers know that they can count on substantive content with the FathersFootprints’ blog.  We hope to continue to meet that expectation with today’s column.

In a world mired with reality TV, sports scandals and raunchy music, it is refreshing to meet people who share our values of providing uplifting and informative written content.  Today’s FathersFootprints’ guest is author/entrepreneur – Cicely J.

Cicely is best known for her politically incorrect approach and her controversial subject matters. But at the same time she wants her audience and her peers to know that she is not another “tell-all author.” With the market flooded with celebrity scandal and gossip blogs, Cicely decided to bring something different, fresh, and new to the market. She does not write about fantasy or romance. She brings you the good, the bad, the ugly and the truth. It may make you mad, it may make you repent, but at the end of the day what she writes will certainly make you think. 

We recently caught up with the talented sister and had just a few questions to help our readers get to know her on a deeper level.


Name: Cicely Johnson

Vital Stats: 30-ish, single, 1 child

Hometown: Vacaville, CA

Profession: Author, publisher, entrepreneur

Quote: If you give your woman some groceries she will make you a meal; if you give her a house she will make it a home; if you give her hell she will give it right back…


1. You made the comment “I am not a tell-all author.”  Can you tell us what that means?Cecily J

People look at me and the fact that I use to model and have been around the industry for a while and (they) automatically assume that I am another tell-all author. I haven’t had any affairs with famous ball players or rappers. I am just a writer.  I studied English Literature in college and have been writing since I was a little girl.  I don’t want to be jumbled in the pile with all the gossip writers. That market is fully saturated. (Cicely pictured rt)


2. You currently reside on the West Coast and will soon be relocating to Atlanta to launch your publishing company.  Why not launch it in L.A.?

Actually I live in Northern California. I am in a small town called Vacaville (near Sacramento) and exposure is minimal. If I was still focusing on modeling or movies, LA would be a good place for me to be; but I am a writer and I want to be in the center of where it is all happening. I have better access to the literary market on the East Coast if I relocate. An opportunity presented itself so I am gonna roll with it. Plus it is my dream to work with Tyler Perry so I need to be as close to his studio as possible when I get that phone call you know, LOL. 


3. Your new book “Black Men vs. White Men – The Black Woman’s Choice” is sure to be controversial.  Without giving away too much of the book; what can we look forward to in this work?

Well it is not a bash all black men book. It really is a wake-up call. People seem to think that just because Obama made it to office that our work is done. Our work has just begun and as the original leader of the family, black men need to stand up and play his role. I have a lot of single friends who are college educated, beautiful, home owners, etc. but can’t find a decent man. I tell them to stop sitting around waiting on Mr. Right and stop focusing on just black men. Love comes in so many different colors and I encourage women to date abroad.


4. We don’t know much about the history of your personal relationship with dating. What is impetus behind such a book?

Cicely 3The fact of the matter is we outnumber you guys. There are good men out there but not enough to choose from. A lot of successful black men choose Caucasian or Latina woman over us. Then we have the ones who are on the “DL”. As single black women what are we expected to do. I hear the frustration, I see the tears, and I have experienced the loneliness myself.


5. As you know we are near completion of our first book entitled Daddy, Am I Pretty? in which you will be featured.  How has your relationship with your father or (lack thereof) helped to make you the woman you are today?

My father and I had an awesome relationship. He was my Daddy. He passed away 6 months ago and I was there with him until he took his last breath. My dad always put us first. He bought me flowers, he combed my hair when I was a little girl, he opened the doors for me and he loved and respected my mother. I guess that is why I am so hard on men; because I had such a great example of how a man is supposed to be. They don’t make ‘em like my daddy anymore.

 black men vs. white men book

6. There are currently 1,200 people on your pre-order waiting list for the release of your book.  When will it be available and how can mere mortals obtain a copy?

I have been going back and forth with the publishing company to secure a definite date. One of the other authors has a book releasing around the same time and we all try to support each other. The last date agreed upon was September 26 but I really don’t want to rush the release. This is my first project and I want to do it big. I am leaning towards an October release. But pre-orders will be available next week and they can go to my site: www.crjpublishing.com

I am a networker and I am on just about every site you can think of. If people have questions about the book or questions about publishing (we are looking for writers now) they can find me on myspace, twitter, and facebook.

Well brothers, there you have it.  As I sign off I end this blog with a question a young man had of his mother.  He asked ‘How can I find the right woman for me?’ His mother answered, ‘Don’t worry about finding the right woman- concentrate on becoming the right man.’  Let’s tighten up brothers.

Until next time,

 Damon signature



If you’d like to opine on this issue of Black Men vs. White Men by all means be my guest.  Simply click the comment link in the lower right hand corner of this feature.

Copyright © 2009

  1. Rita Pierso Harvey says:

    I am very excited for you Cicely

  2. Angela Simms says:

    I’ve never considered dating outside my race but it may be time. I have dated across the socio-economic spectrum. I have some very good friends. Perhaps it’s time to think outside the color box!

  3. Black Woman says:

    As tight as it is out there, Black men are my only option. I wish I were more open, but I just looove me some Black men!

  4. Anonymous says:


  5. Eddie Robinson says:

    I just want to said I’m very happy that someone brought to light about the White and Black relationships… Good job!

  6. Dr. B. Williams says:

    Congratualtions CeCe, for being an instrument of change.

  7. Groux, Sr. says:

    Again congratulations CeCe, I just hope people know I was just a model! My sister thinks I will get jumped in the book store by Strong black sista’s when I go get my copy of the book…. LOL

  8. kimberly walton says:

    You know I dont do the white men…but I will do OTHER’S like Cuban.Puerto Rican..Greek…they have to be a little dark..I dont care about money..a white man doesnt have to just have money but have a swag to go along with it..if that finds me then maybe white…has to have swag!

  9. Diamondlu says:

    I’m very ,very proud of you and everything that you’ve worked so hard for! May God Bless you always.

    Please would you give your big sister a call 🙂


  10. Daphne says:

    Love is love. I’ve been married 21 years to a black man but I’ve been attracted to men of all ethnicies. If you’ve been thru enough in life you’ll figure out that skin color doesn’t matter. When it comes down to it you want that person with whom you can share and enjoy your lives. The package it comes in is irrelevant.

  11. First and foremost, I’d like to say congratulations to Cicely on her book. The title and topic are very interesting. You have my support, sister. Secondly, I’d like to thank Damon for the hot blogs. I love hearing others’ opinions on any subject matter and this topic hits home. God created every one of us equally so whatever race one chooses to date, doesn’t bother me. Oftentimes, I think we’re afraid of stepping outside of what we’re accustomed to; the same with food, clothes, environment, etc., but when and if we finally do step outside of that box, we realize that it wasn’t that bad and how sad it is that we were missing out on something so good. All black men aren’t disgraceful, but I sometimes wonder where are the good ones. I remember my daddy saying years ago, “change your circle. Move somewhere differently. Try something new.” And I’ve done that. My opinion, it’s not always moving or trying something new, but the willingness to let God change where we fall short. None of us are perfect. And what may be the ideal man or woman to you, may not be to the next person. This is why God created all races. Fear hinders us from doing many things. Do what’s pleasing and acceptable to God and He will direct your path. Author, ACT!

  12. Michon Henderson says:

    CC!!!!! I am excited and proud! Great interview and I can already see you on Oprah! Keep thinking big! I most definitely will add myself to that list of 1200 in line to purchase the book.

  13. Joe Clyde says:

    Sounds like a Black man hater to me. Personally, I think this Bash Black men to get popular thing is getting old and played out.

    If you need a book or website to tell you it’s ok to date somebody. Than the issue is you.

  14. C W says:

    Congratulations Cicely J on the book!

    I want to preorder but the button isn’t allowing me…Is it available yet?

    When discussing Black Woman/Black Man dynamics, the numbers just aren’t there…Black women must expand their options to include ALL races if we are to have a fair chance at this…

  15. Danielle says:

    This book sounds great. I am a black woman who is only attracted to white men. I don’t knock others for what they are attracted to, but more black women need to try something different.

  16. janne w says:

    thank you for submitting this write out to us-especially whom already know dating and marrying outside
    african american race-has to be done by us black women, who by way many waywards-just can’t BE extensive enough of ourselves with black men alone. my way of life-almost no one of color-let alone who is black takes up living down-which is/are:
    my belief in God-is through energetic experiences, energy property studies/educations-where not many men of any race tend to gravitate-so men by a number-are more vast by count in tradtional ways to believe in God (unless as is the likeness of michael beckwith-say)-so from that demographic view-i’m REALLY at a great deficit to match my tribe*. ‘diet and exercise-sometimes in the extremes (of taking great care of myself-especially mentally via diet/exercise)-is anothe dem-i’m hard pressed to match “triblings” with. i love activities where one has to use their head 1st (at the speed and text of say-a michael eric dyson, or neil degrasse-tyson) that from there-engage the heart.
    so out of greatly needing to extend myself the vastest waywards i can positive to myself. i’m/have dated and married out side of being black
    (though currently single-and still feel wonderful:)

    janne w

  17. G. Presley says:

    Congratulations on a well-spoken interview Cicely.

    As you know already, regardless of our opposing books, I still applaud your ability to evoke great conversation about this topic. Black relationships in America need to be discussed openly and thoroughly dissected in order to come to some sort of common ground.

    However, I just heard a news story this morning that I feel is pertanent to both of our publications. A national study just revealed that Black male unemployment is the highest since the depression. The likely cause was said to be the current level of black male discrimination in the workforce.

    Many times, black women state that we are not on our job as Black men, and that we can be “lazy” and tend to “sponge” off of well-off women. But as it was revealed on headlines around the country today, Black males with high-level degrees are less likely to get a call from an employer than a white man, white woman, or a Black woman. In fact, the study sadly revealed that the chances of a Black male “fresh out of college” getting a job today are no better than than chances of a white male that is “fresh out of prison”.

    In closing, all I am saying is that if Black women truly desire “NOT” to be single in the numbers that they are, they are going to have to one day comprehend that America is set up, and historically has ALWAYS been set up to block the advancement of Black men, and to sociologically prepare Black women for Black men’s “Failure”.

    • CS says:

      This entire post is completely false. A black male college graduate getting passed over – or even competing- with a white male fresh out of prison for a job is ridiculous.
      I do not wish to generalize all black men, so I will direct my comments towards you only. Perhaps you have some kind of inferiority complex or simply fall into that small category of people who truly are lazy or defeatist. “A national study just revealed that Black male unemployment is the highest since the depression. The likely cause was said to be the current level of black male discrimination in the workforce.” Ah, yes. The old discrimination monster rears its head once again. I suppose it’s fortunate that this “national study” happened to be released just as you were typing this response and somehow supports all of your theories.
      It’s 2010. There is a black President. Is there still discrimination? Yes (and not just the white-on-black type). Is it at the level it once was? Not by a long shot. If more and more black women are dating white men, don’t blame them. Blame yourself.

  18. JUBILEE says:

    I think it depends on where the person is at; a lot of white men are also staring to have babymammas. The best thing a black women should do is act like a LADY from the start and NOT putting up with “hoochie” music, no matter what the beat. Rappers Delight is just ONE of the songs. There is VERY little true lovesongs coming from male singers IMO Theres also some good black men out there and white men also. Just check him out before he starts to kiss you

  19. Stayci says:

    We are proud of you cousin..!!! I can’t wait to get my hands on that book!!!! Miss and love ya lots CiCi…..WE KNOW love is love, and that it has no boundries… smooches!

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