48. Where did we go wrong?

Posted: September 17, 2009 in African American, Black Pride, family, parenting, Relationships
Tags: , , ,

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  1. Rachel Araya says:


    Without a doubt, we learn how to be sexist and misogynistic through our culture. The exploitation of black women is acceptable to a lot men and women, which is very disheartening. And you are right: We are being oppressed by most men. However, black women need to take responsibility for their own worth.

    Some black women have learned how to use their sexuality to raise their socio-economic status. These black women (not all black women) think that men are supposed to give them money for being sexual.

    In my younger years, I was guilty of catering to the exploitative image of what men want and think women should be. I know better now. As I matured, I realized that the only person that I was hurting was myself. You can’t be scantily clad and still get the respect that you long for. It don’t work that way! I feel like I should be able to wear anything that I want; however, misogynistic men constantly remind me that there are consequences for being too sexy. So sad!

    Good piece Damon!

  2. Trina says:

    I totally agree with you Damon. Thanks for not putting it too harshly. I will certainly do my part to support the brothers and to counter the negative stereotypes we’ve been promoting. Fathersfoosteps is the social conscious for the people. Thank you.

  3. Damon says:

    Thanks for your comments Rachel and Trina. You both make strong points about this issue.


  4. Phil Black says:


    This is a great message my friend. I specifically like how you pointed out the distinct difference in how other races treat their women. When was the last time you saw a person of Arabic or Asian decent openly disrespecting a woman of their culture? You have not, nor will you, ever. Yet our poor treatment of sisters has become so common place and acceptable, even they will do it without fear of consequence. If you want an example, the next time you go into a gas station or local store and an attractive sister is in there as well, take notice of how she is addressed by the person behind the counter. And while there is diversity of race in magazines, video’s and so on, the ratio of black female models is highly disproportioned. We (black men) need to wake up and step up. Thanks again brother.

    -Phil Black

  5. Sabin says:

    Phil said it all. Poignant blog man, keep ’em coming.

  6. Cheryl says:

    Wow, this post is right on point. As I listen to talk radio and overhear conversations among our people I believe you have hit the nail on the head. Our relationships and/or interactions have become a merry-go-round of the blame game. At some point we have got to hop off of the ride and start talking to one another.

  7. Lisa says:


    You are indeed a spirit to be reckoned with! I love how you just tell it like it “t-i-s”. I, too, as a young woman believed that showing off, explicitness, would be the only way get any attention. Even though I had two loving parents in our home. I had all the support I could ever want and wish I had now. It was because of what everyone else was doing and getting away with. I am forever explaining to my own daughter that it is not your body, but your head that you use to get where God wants you to be. I, just yesterday, had to speak with a young man about his intentions and told him that regardless of how much I care for him he will not be the boyfriend. Both of you are just 13 years old! REALLY!! He was not surprised and seemed okay, at least because he escaped Mel’s entrance.
    However, we need to take responsibility, as well as our men. We only get what we allow. We can not continue to condemn what we give permission to. We can begin by speaking to each other about the subject and teaching our girls what they are worth, what is acceptable & expected, and most importantly, what God has intended for their lives. Love you, Lisa

  8. kelly terrell says:

    This was a good one Damon. I also would like to say to the mothers who are raising daughters… be very mindful of what you allow your daughters to wear. Just because the fashion designer has made it in her size does not mean buy it. Alot of the clothing now a days are too grown for our young daughters to be wearing. Please teach your daughters their self worth and please help them cover up their bodies. It starts at home!!

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