Those of you who follow this blog know that it doesn’t have to be February in order for us to celebrate Black folks.  To that end, I recently re-read Steve Harvey’s Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Steve is probably one of the greatest comedic genius’ that ever graced this green planet.  With a New York Times’ Best Seller out the gate, Steve has chartered territory many brothers avoid.  Rereading this piece caused me to re-examine my own role as a Black husband.

Having been married for almost 19 years now, I read Steve’s book from through the lens of seasoned vet.  Not in the art of the game, but more so from a perspective of a brother that is merely elated to NOT be in the game in 21st century.

In 2009 I wrote a piece entitled; I think I love my wife.  Borrowing the title from Chris Rock’s cinematic representation of marital and infidelous accounts, I drew analogies to my sometimes lack of appreciation for the woman I married in 1991.

We are just a few days removed from Valentine’s Day but the significance of the day lingers, leaving a residual effect of love that has stood the test of time.  Proverbs 18:22 suggests that he who finds a wife, finds a good thing.  Though I’m a devout Christian, that particular verse of scripture has disturbing implications because all who have found wives haven’t necessarily found “a good thing.”  I’m just thankful that in my case, the scripture rings true.

Not to worry, this piece is not headed down the road of how great and wonderful my wife is (while that is true, it is not the point of this discourse), but rather the lack of successful couplings within the race today. 

2009 produced a significant decline for educated Black women finding a marital mate.  A part of me has bought into the notion of educated Black women possessing intimidating leadership traits that somehow are a turn-off for her natural counterparts.  The notion was dismissed as quickly as it developed.  In my humble opinion (often referred to as D’s 2¢), there is nothing more beautiful than a Black woman who has something between her ears.  I’ll go on record as being the first to say that it is the uneducated sister that’s intimidating.

Stay with me as I imagine coming home from work to a woman that has prepared a fattening meal of fried food, macaroni and cheese, fully-loaded bake potatoes (that’s right, two starches!) and a big-a** glass of Kool-Aid with so much sugar in it that it can’t totally dissolve- and just sets at the bottom of the glass like syrup.    And that’s on the day she decides to cook.  The other days consist of McDonald’s, KFC or Rally’s (or Checkers depending upon your geographical setting).  As a prologue to the fattening meal, her conversations mirror that of a Maury Povich Show guest.  You get the point.  This certainly is not a good thing. 

Even a devoted practitioner of Steve’s gold nuggets could not sway me in the direction of those kinds of sisters.  I love my race, but even my devotion has limitations.  I have total lack of tolerance for a sister who spend more on purses, pumps, weaves and wigs than they do on books, tuition and CEU’s (pray for me, I working on this).  Please don’t mistake me.  Not everyone is fortunate to go to college, but we can all better ourselves through some form of enlightenment.  This country is full self-taught extraordinary Black women.

It’s probably best that I conclude this blog before I alienate some of my readers (it may already be too late).  As I close I am reminded of a rap lyric from the ATL-based group, Goodie Mob which epitomizes how Mary and I have evolved over 19 years:

“Closer than the skin on the back of my hand

Through the thick and thin we can win

Beautiful Black skin….”

D’s deux ¢

  1. Fred Jun says:

    You go boy. I am well pleased and encouraged to see so many confident sisters making positive strides towards total womanhood. This new thinking that transcends sexuality, or the ever popular hoochie mamas is refreshing. Being able to take of business is very attractive to any man trying to build a future and have a home.

  2. Lisa says:

    I truly appreciate your post. It made me chuckle, because I can remember making Kool-Aid as you described when I was a kid. I’m so glad I know better now! I was walking through my living room one day this week (off on Winter Break) and heard part of a Maury P. show. Asking “Why?” that gets televised before turning the channel is disheartening. Just as we know there is an audience for such, I don’t know what to call it, bafoonery- there is also an audience for the production of quality information. Your blog is certainly one of them. Keep spreading your message~

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